Re-Introducing Myself

Hello. My name is Jenni. I am a twenty-something who is currently a middle school science teacher that is not enjoying her job. I can't make decisions well, which is why this is my 5th year teaching even though I've liked my job less and less each year. Part of me stays because I don't want to let down the co-workers that I have grown to love. I also WANT to enjoy teaching. Also, I'm one more year away from being vested in the retirement system (I could quit after this year and purchase one more year...but it's expensive). There's other reasons I would argue for staying but those are the main points.

Part of me wants to leave teaching also. I don't feel excited about it anymore. I don't enjoy the process of coming up with engaging lessons for my students anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am still trying. I'm just always strung out/stressed/unhappy because of the demands of my job. I want to do it right and feel like I can't. A lot of it is the politics of education anymore. It's not teaching anymore; it's pretty much everything BUT teaching.

My husband tells me I over-complicate my life. I used to get mad when he would say things like that. It's because I knew it was true but didn't want it to be true. That's a lot of why people get mad at others. It's because they've pointed out a fact that the other person doesn't want to accept as being true, even though they know it is. So instead of getting mad at my husband about my "truths", I've learned to stop and think about what he has said. Now I know that I truly do over-complicate most aspects of my life. I still haven't figured out why I do that...maybe I should go back to counseling!

Right now I am watching The Mindy Project, which just so happens to be my new favorite show. I have a bunch of episodes on my DVR from New Years Eve, when they were running a marathon of her shows. I am now on the most current episode, which is HILARIOUS! It's the office Christmas party one (for those of you obsessed like me) and I can't wait to see the part with the wine bra and Danny's awesome Secret Santa dance for Mindy. Best. Dance. Ever.

In other news, I've gotten back into my cooking fun. The beginning of the school year was rough and I wasn't enjoying cooking as much because it was more of a stress than an enjoyable experience. (By the way, completely lost my train of thought mid-sentence because the Danny-Secret-Santa-dance part came on!) I also did not work out more than 4 times from August-December because of the stress. I'm not going to let this happen anymore. I'm going to fix healthy (most of the time) meals and workout during the week. You actually feel better and have more energy when you workout! So...that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!

I used to make New Years resolutions but you always get disappointed with those, because rarely do you ever actually meet your resolutions by the end of the year. So, instead of saying "I will workout 5 times every week" or "I will eat every vegetable ever", I'm simply going to continue my venture of eating healthy, cooking new recipes and being more consistent at working out. I need to remember how much better I feel and how much more confidence I have when I'm doing those things consistently. I think I'm done now because I feel like I'm rambling. Adios.