Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Long Time, No See!

It humored me that my previous post started with me saying how I hadn't written a post in a long time, because of being busy with work. I don't have an excuse this time!

A few things have changed in my life since then... for starters, I am no longer teaching. Deciding to give up my job was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. For as long as I can remember, I have always been in school, whether as a student or as a teacher. I have always been busy and I do enjoy being busy. Over the last few years though, being busy and stressed constantly was not doing me any favors. My health - mental, physical and emotional - was not good. I am lucky to be married to a great man who thought I needed to take some time off to work on my health and was willing to be a one income family. Some days I wonder if I made a mistake, quitting a job, when there are so many out there in desperate need of one; I have to do what is best for our family though, and right now that is to find a better balance in my life.

It can be hard being unemployed. People think less of you - I don't understand that. When I was working, I never thought less of anyone that wasn't working, whether it was because they had children they were raising or for other reasons. No one has flat out said anything to me but sometimes the comments I get when people ask "What do you do?" and I respond with "Well, currently I am not working, if that's what you mean." are just snide and condescending. Or I get the people who try to "fix" my "problem", always giving suggestions of where else I could teach, or a different job I could try. They don't understand that I am currently happy with my situation and so is my husband. It baffles me why America thinks you're only valuable if you are making money...there is so much more to life than that.

One thing that has been like a full-time job currently is selling our house! We decided to sell it ourselves instead of listing with a realtor and I was amazed how quickly we were able to get a contract! I think it took about 26 days, from the day we listed it online to the day we got signatures on the contract. We are in the process of finding our next home - we're not moving away, just moving to a different home. We both like this house but we are in need of some different spaces that this home doesn't offer. Plus, I am ready to be away from the corn field! Just last night, we listened to scratching in the wall. Ok, it also could have been a raccoon, possum or something else on the porch, but I don't care! That noise will forever strike fear and dread in me wherever I am!

I've also gotten a membership at the local gym. This has been huge for me! I know it's been an excuse my whole life but I always felt like I didn't have enough time in the day to do everything that had to be done AND get a workout in. Since June, I've been going pretty consistently (we're talking 3-4 times a week, on average). I started out mostly going to the classes that they offered but then switched over to working out on my own using the machines and weights. This actually surprises me, because I always told myself I would work out harder in a group class, with someone telling me what to do. But I caught myself always comparing me to what others looked like, or how they were doing the moves. I still go occasionally because there are some fun classes (like a cardio dance class!) but for the most part, I hit the elliptical, treadmill or bike hard and then strap on my gloves to lift. There's this whole toss up on whether you should do more cardio or more weight lifting. I think you should do both. I do cardio first because if I don't have enough energy, I will talk myself out of it. Whereas I have more of a competitive edge with myself on lifting, so even if I'm tired, I will still do it.

You would think without all the stress and worry, the weight would be falling off. Not so. That's what weight lifting will do. It slows down your initial weight loss but even though the scale didn't move at first, my body felt and started looking better! So for anyone out there afraid of lifting weights because they "don't want to bulk up" or "don't want to gain weight, even if it is muscle", stop being afraid! It's one of the best decisions I made this summer. I'm starting to notice my weight slowly going down. I only check it about every other day, first thing in the morning (after using the bathroom, of course!). Sure, I'd love for it to fall off rapidly! But if it comes off that fast, it will come back on just as fast! This is about life changes. I don't feel deprived of any food - no food is off limits. It's all about moderation. And for me, it was also about training myself that food is not a comfort - if I'm feeling down, depressed or sad, I either go workout or do something else, besides eat.

My plan is to update this more frequently, whether it is about my daily life, a yummy recipe I have found or something fitness related! Who knows...maybe I'll rename my blog something more fitting.

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